Like Takeout

I admit it: I like quick and easy quilt patterns…they’re like takeout for quilters.  While I can certainly appreciate, drool over and covet those intricately made and excessively quilted works I see at quilt shows, me, I like ’em easy.  Kind of like Himself.  Hey, that’s his assessment, not mine!

Perhaps it’s today’s fast-paced get-it-done-in-a-hurry mentality and I have willfully given myself over to it.  So be it.  I’ll be quick and easy, too.  So for today’s (almost) finish, I have a quasi-jelly roll top and a decision to make.

Courtesy of Nurse Jessi and her stash

Each print is modern and funky and there’s even orange in there which I love, love, love!  So, what’s a girl to do?  I decided a lap quilt (for moi) was in order.


Because it was about the equivalent of a half-jelly, it went together very quickly and without the cursing that is inherent in dealing with a full-length jelly strip.  Oh, you don’t curse when untangling all that length?  Well, aren’t you special!

Now, I have to decide on the border.  Me, I like thick chunky borders.  Like my thighs, only not as white and without the cellulite.  Y’all help me decide which looks best, okay.  I’ve got two choices picked out: a dark gray polka dot on light gray or a tone on tone white with stars.


Yes, the light is crap in this picture, but work with me here.  At first I thought gray, but now it just seems to pull the life outta the strips so I’m thinking white instead.  Opinions?  Oh, come ON, I know you’ve got them!  Tell me what you think in the comments.

For now, I’m linking up to Crazy Mom, Richard and Sarah.



WIPs and a New Hard Drive

It’s not that kind of post.  Next blog!

Himself finally brought home our newly fixed computer…it’s kind of like neutering the dog and just as expensive but without the fun of watching a drugged pooch sway about the living room (hooray…can you hear the vortex that is sucking the money from my wallet?!) and I can once again bore the blogging community with pictures and such. Enjoy!

I have a couple of tops finished for the West Quilt Train. Progress has been exceptionally slow (it’s the quilter, not the quilts) and I’m feeling a little guilty. However, and stop me if I’ve already mentioned it, I’ve found a local nursing home that’s housing twenty-four West residents so at least there’s a new goal for me.

Here’s one top I pieced using blocks from Brigitte M. of Michigan…modelled by The Diva.  The border fabric is (don’t quote me) Laura’s London Lawns.  It’s so soft and girly…love it!


I attempted to channel my inner pioneer (it wasn’t pretty, but have you actually seen an attractive pioneer woman?) and used what I had on hand and ‘as is’ for the next top.  I’m thinking of calling it ‘The Odd Sibling’ because he’s just a little hinky.  The Diva probably thinks the moniker is referring to His Awesomeness.

Would it qualify for one of those Gee’s Bend quilts…who knows?  My inner perfectionist was writhing in agony.  I medicated her with wine.


Those are really white polka dots on black, but from here it looks like a bad LSD trip…or so I’m told.

I’m currently working with blocks from Amanda R.  I achieved a layout I like and chose a navy with small stars for the sashing and borders.


Given time (and the proper weight to wine ratio) I should have the top finished by tomorrow evening.  Wish me good drinking luck!

It’s Back On

Did you feel the earth shake? No, I’m not doing jumping jacks…but I did sit down at Somebody’s Brother yesterday and actually SEWED something. I can’t tell you what it’s for, not yet anyway, but thought I’d better take a picture just to say ‘Hey look, fabric’s actually moving about the table’. I even fired up the iron. WHOHOO!


I’m still working at that baby afghan using the skein of yarn big enough to be considered a flotilla all by itself, but it felt fairly awesome to actually sew something.  I even had to wind another bobbin….SQUEAL!  Go ahead, mock me.  It’s the little things.  Some people are multi-lingual.  I’m multi-crafty!

What I’ve Learned So Far From Crochet

I didn’t think it was possible to have a crochet WIP. Add that to the list of stuff I am wrong about.

I’ve been working on this piece for about a week and although I like the colors and design, it’s getting a tad bor—ing.  Those other 5,000 skeins I’ve bought are calling my name.  Must…go…faster!


I’ve discovered that crochet is a greedy hobby.  Here I thought three skeins would make me a nice sized afghan.  Stop laughing.  I mean it.  Who knew that a skein of gargantuan size, all neatly packaged in its paper wrap, wouldn’t stitch up big enough to make a dish cloth.  It’s depressing.  And expensive.  How do I always choose the expensive hobbies?  Next time, I’ll choose watching car bumpers rust.  

I should really stick to making afghans.  I’ve already tried my hand at making a hat, which didn’t turn out so hot.  Remember this…


Yeah, that started out as a hat for me.  Himself, the clever devil, said ‘Why not make two and turn it into a bikini top?‘  For who…Shamu?!  I held that baby up to my ample bosom and, channeling Chief Brody of JAWS fame, said ‘I’m gonna need a bigger cup’.  Yes, we’ve both missed our calling as comedians.

Crochet has seriously cut into my quilting obsession.  I’ll gaze occasionally at Lennie, eh, shrug, and back to crochet, that scarlet harlot.

And, saving the best for last, I’ve learned that one can drive and crochet at the same time.  That’s probably not something I should confess, but I do this in the pickup line at school.  It’s a straightaway, my foot’s constantly on the brake.  Honestly Officer, I’ve no idea how I rear-ended that car.  Sue me.  It’s my last breath of peace and serenity before The Co-Defendants hit the backseat.  Plus it beats the hell out of cussing the driver in front of me who’s texting.  Ahem…


WIP Wednesday 11/7/12

Here’s what’s on my sewing table for day three of my vacation.   

I got the binding sewn onto this cute panel and just need to handstitch it down on the back.

The binding’s cut out for the next completed top…it’s navy, not purple.  Gotta love cameras and lighting and all that.

And while this isn’t a WIP, it will be soon.  What’s that make it…a WIP-in-waiting?  It’s a Christmas present for…..who?  The pattern is from Quilts and More magazine.

This week I have several helpers to keep me company and soldiering on as I make my way through almost-done and half-assed done projects.  In no particular order, they are…

Coffee, and lots of it.  And if I find out who put decaf in my cup this morning, I’m gonna kill ’em.  Oh, wait…that was me.  Ahem…

My faithful, furry companion, (no, not Himself), Lulu FooFoo

And last, but certainly not least…

…because everyone knows grapes have antioxidants which are really good for you.  Heehee.  Ahem…

So…what’re you working on this week?  I’m linking to WIP Wednesday at Freshly Pieced to find out!

Happy quilting, y’all!

Halloween WIP

Call me a witch, but Halloween holds as much appeal for me as going to the vet does for the dog.  Perhaps it’s the crush of whining little ones every. where. we. go or maybe it’s the obviously frazzled parents accompanying them, each wearing an expression that says they’d rather eat ground glass than be trolling for candy.  Or perhaps it’s just the thought of a quirky holiday in which we celebrate children begging for candy (much like mine do every time we’re at the grocery).  Whatever…The Diva’s terribly excited about all that free candy and I’m looking forward to soaking my sore foot when the whole thing’s over and done with. 

I successfully managed not to fall down all day and got my 10 year cross stitch WIP almost done.

I’m turning it into a wallhanging.  All that’s left is to stitch down the binding.  I briefly thought of doing that by machine, but oddly enough, I really like stitching it down by hand.

Well, I must hop on my broom as we scour the countryside for treats.  Happy Halloween, y’all!

Pinning the Albatross

So, in an effort to be truer to the process pledge I took some time back, I’m gonna bore you to tears with info about the quilt that refuses to be quilted.  I blogged yesterday that I’d had serious thread breakage and batting issues after loading this baby onto my mom’s quilt frame.  I swear, this’ll be ready by the time Captain Studly walks down the aisle.  He’s only 13, surely there’s plenty of time!
Anyhoo, I managed to dodge a trip to a heretofore undisclosed destination…yes, I’m being evasive on purpose and was left to my own devices by Himself and the Co-Defendants.  YAY, peace and quiet!  I’ve never pinned a quilt on carpet, always on linoleum.  My knees are thanking me and it wasn’t as difficult as I’d anticipated.  Thank heavens for small favors, eh?
Now, it’s all pinned and ready for Lennie the Featherweight. 
I checked out a blog post over at The Amateur Quilter about quilting a big-ass quilt (his words) on a home sewing machine.  Considering the quilt he whipped out appears to dwarf mine, I’d say there’s hope for getting this puppy done. 
Wish me luck!

Sweet ‘n Sour

Now don’t y’all go thinking that the post title is referring to the Co-Defendants!  Oh, wait, that was my thought…hehe.  Ahem… 

It’s Wednesday and I have a WIP to show you!  This is but one in a ginormous pile of WIPs tops, not to mention those I’ve already quilted that need the threads tied off.  Ugh!  There’re parts to this quilting hobby that are nothing but pure unadulterated drudgery.  Where’s the Quilt Fairy?

But, I digress…here’s my WIP for Wednesday…

This is what happens when I get bored and decide to take a couple packs of charm squares and just run ’em through Lennie the Featherweight like Kirstie Alley through a bag of potato chips.  I’m still trying to decide on borders ’cause this girl is a wee mite skinny.  The quilt top, not me.

I like how it’s turning out, though…all those funky patterns and pops of color.  And I love white in a quilt.  I know some people think it’s nothing more than a distraction and utterly ruins a quilt, but white has its place.  Don’t knock it!

On a side note…did you notice those tiny spots on the concrete? Yep, those are raindrops. This is August in Texas. I. am. excited.  And yes, this is the highlight of my day.

I’m linking up to Freshly Pieced…care to join me?

Unproductive Targets

I love to read my daily horoscope.  It’s a lot of fun, but it’s not like I plan my day around it or anything.  After all, the blurb underneath it clearly states ‘Astrology has no basis in science.  This column is for entertainment only.’  I never would’ve guessed.  Reading it at the end of the day is even better because, if my day went according to the alignment of heavenly bodies, then the stars must be right…right?!  Weird, I know, but there it is. 

Today’s horoscope went like this…

‘If you deviate from your plans, you’re likely to lose focus and squander effort on unproductive targets.  Stick to your agenda, and you’ll do just fine.’

What’s weird is, today’s horoscope would’ve been better suited to Friday or Saturday.  I have a WIP that  absolutely must get finished, but what did I choose to work on for a nice chunk of the weekend?  Add to the fact, that I just HAD to eat and sleep…well, let’s just say the WIP is still waiting. 

Aren’t they cute?!  I love me some pincushions!  These were leftover paper-pieced blocks that I paired with a charm square, trimmed to size and then filled with crushed walnut shells.  I haven’t decided what to do with them yet.  I mean, how many pincushions does a girl need, right?  Maybe there’s a giveaway in there somewhere.  Stay tuned. 

All the while, the WIP has hung on the design wall screaming for me to hurry up and get it done.  Patience, grasshopper, patience.

Happy quilting, y’all!