Anyone seen my brain?

So, I’ve been at retreat since Thursday and accomplished tons.  But that’s for a later post.   And before you ask why, it’s because I’m the mom and I said so.


Today, I’m working on yet another Bonnie Hunter pattern.  For someone who doesn’t like scrappy, I’ve seemingly leapt from the precipice of sanity with a rebel yell of ‘screw it, let’s do it!’ and ne’er a fair-thee-well.  Or maybe that’s frat boy.  🤔.  Whatevs.

Idiot.

So, back in January when I had my lady bits yanked and was confined to home for six solid weeks (sounds fun in theory, but the reality is like being promised a night with Tom Selleck and getting PeeWee Herman.  I want to shower in bleach just thinking about it 😱).  

Where was I?

Oh, yes.  Post-surgical recovery.

So, here I was: a nifty abdominal incision, unable to lift anything more than my own substantial badonkadonk into and out of the recliner (because we’re idiots and bought a really tall bed I had no hope of clambering into for the foreseeable future); and a dachshund with questionable mental faculties, the temperament of a band of pillaging Vikings, and a penchant for nesting in my lap atop aforementioned incision and not moving.  Ever.  

Geez, I’m tired just writing all that.

Anyway, what I was, was bored.  My days and nights were flip-flopped and I’d be awake all night with Jessica Fletcher and an endless loop of infomercials.  I was *this* close to caving in and buying a Square Dance Pan, but that woman was annoying.  Like a lifetime of wearing granny panties and suddenly switching to butt floss aka thongs.  Annoying.  But I’m still not convinced I don’t NEED a Miracle Bamboo Cushion.  And my bodily neighbors to the north might really be on board with a Miracle Bamboo Bra.

Yet again, I digress.

Once I got myself straightened out timewise, I thought it’d be brilliant to cut out some quilts.  Never mind the fact I had pre-surgical time to do this.  Nope, pre-planning is for funerals.  Just saying.  Never mind that I was the lone passenger on the Narcotics Express and made a valiant attempt at wielding a rotary cutter whilst under the influence and scared the bejeebers out of myself.  But what I did have going for me, was my Accuquilt Studio.

Light.  Bulb.  💡 

Generally speaking, I’m fairly bright.  Unless you ask The Codefendants.  To them, all brain function ceased in 1999.  But still, I’m not dragging knuckles through the gravel and I manage to not disgrace myself by wearing pajamas to the Walmart, so, you know, there’s that.  Sigh.

I thought why not use this nifty device, sorry, I’m back to the Studio here (squirrel!) and cut out the roughly six million pieces in this quilt!  Woohoo.  So, I got down to bidness and proceeded to cut out the required 1 1/2″ strips I’d need.  And then it happened.  

The instructions clearly stated to cut 1 1/2″ squares.  And being a good citizen, I did.  

No questions.  

No qualms.  

Instructions say cut, I cut.

And before you say it, yes, I am well aware I could’ve strip pieced these.  The thought has occurred.


Someone hold me.

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12 thoughts on “Anyone seen my brain?

  1. Oh Stephanie! You never cease to crack me up! Believe me when I say that I am laughing with you and not at you! Your 1 1/2″ squares are something that I would have done – trust me on that! I may have even given up at that point! I sure hope you don’t though! Good luck and hope you are feeling much, much better!

    1. Well, thank you, Miss Cathy! I feel just fine…best medical decision I’ve ever made. I still haven’t gone back to the sewing room, but it’s calling me. Maybe after this next Duran Duran song is finished…

      Happy quilting!

  2. I’m adding my 2 cents that there MUST be a good reason for not strip piecing those squares and you cleverly avoided the pit falls of same!!!! just saying…..
    as always a great post

  3. Oh, boy. My sympathies are with you! Bonnie Hunter patterns are beautiful, but they have a bazillion pieces. Sewing and pressing all of those pieces is going to be painful! Unfortunately, those aforementioned pain meds are not going to help with that. Hang in there!

  4. Sorry I can’t hold you because I am holding MY sides from too much laughter! I do things like that with no excuses such as post surgery tiredness……it’s called enthusiasm and no reading the pattern through before cuttting.

  5. Brain on drugs=no rotary cutting=at all-=OR pattern reading for me either!! I’ve been there, too! A few yrs ago
    (eons really as I am older than dirt now!!) SO…
    I have a GI-normous collection of 2.5″ and 2″ squares…never even thought about strip piecing–so I totally empathize…
    I love BH’s quilts–but WAY too many pieces for yours truly (who cannot even sew ON THE LINE straight–just sayin’
    ;((( )
    Hugs for a speedy recovery–I’ll be thinkin’ of you when I am sewing my postage stamp “quilt- to- be” together…
    square by little square….sheeesh…
    Julierose

    1. My only consolation is that MAYBE I’ll have more variety in the blocks than if I’d strip pieced them. MAYBE. Highly unlikely, but hope springs eternal and all that. Thanks for stopping by, Julierose, and I’ll be waiting for the postage stamp quilt debut!

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