Of Quilts, Kids, and Questionable Odors

Mine is a world filled with the wondrous wonderfulness that is beautiful fabric: its softness, its supple textures, its exorbitant price tag.  Pretty fabric, lovely fabric, jump into my stash.  

I always say this weekend I will sew, which roughly translates to after tending to everything else.  

This weekend, ‘everything else’ has amounted to a plethora of experiences, some of which I’d just as soon avoid.

First up, letting His Awesomeness get behind the wheel. 😱  

This child, like his father before him, is a curb hugger.  I cannot tell you the times I’ve shrunk toward the driver’s side in an effort to, please, sweet baby Jesus!, don’t let us hit that mailbox!!  He doesn’t seem to appreciate that there’s plenty of asphalt for all to enjoy.  Never mind the fact that there is no oncoming traffic.  Meanwhile, my posterior is doing something my Mama nicely refers to as ‘working buttonholes in the seat’.  As much clenching as my butt cheeks have done, you should be able to bounce a quarter off ’em. Not that you’d want to since we’ve never formally met, but, you know.  Frankly, driving lessons should fall to the father, I mean biological here, not God, but boy have God and I had some pretty intense conversations during those drives.

In an effort to relax, I turn to Lennie the Featherweight.  Sewing for me is like a wonderful night on the town with a good looking man without all those pesky expectations of what happens when you get dropped at the door.  Lennie doesn’t care if I drink or swear, wear undergarments reminiscent of grannies and he certainly doesn’t expect to be invited in for a nightcap.  

On that note, I finished one flimsy and have moved on to another.  Clearly, quilting it isn’t high on my list of priorities, like shaving my legs in the dead of winter.

I don’t name my quilts, but this one reminds me of water flowing over rocks.  I love it.   

 
I’ve started another one that’s all flannel, because obviously, when the temperatures start to climb, you want to work with fabric that’ll  make you sweat like a hooker at a Saturday night tent revival.  Idiot. 

   

This past Friday, I said goodbye to my favorite volunteer who is moving to be closer to family.  I’ll miss you, Mr. Todd.  

And to round out my week, our newest furbaby decided it would be epically delightful to roll in something that smells of a wonderful dichotomy of sewage and death.  My Lulu never did this.  I can only guess that it’s a hound thing.  Bad Ziva!  

I’m hoping this next week leaves out the surprises and just leaves me with a tighter tush.

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25 thoughts on “Of Quilts, Kids, and Questionable Odors

    1. It really depends. Clear as mud right? If I’m making a wintertime quilt or one for an older person, then yes, I’ll use batting. Otherwise, I prefer to use another layer of flannel. It just doesn’t get cold enough in Texas to warrant batting with a flannel quilt.

  1. I hold no envy with the driving lessons, still remember even muttering the words, out of milk and no matter where madam was in the house she magically appeared with car keys in hand ready to drive not just down the road but all the way on the other side of town for a litre of milk……the stress and the foot hitting the imaginary brake. Driving instructions is a section that is never covered in baby books and theres a reason for that hahahahahah

    1. I just got back from another outing with him and my right eye is still twitching. Geesh! He’s getting better and more confident. There’s still hope I’ll wind up with a butt like Giselle Bundchen.

  2. I get the mailbox thing! Brought back a memory of teaching my youngest. I was amazed at how many people left their mailboxes open. Of course in New England the roads used to be cow paths and some aren’t much wider today. I just got a featherweight and named him Lowell for the town I found him in.
    A couple of nice quilts you are working on and that is a great pic of you and your friend.

    1. Thanks, Sue. Our drive today has concluded and my Xanax just kicked in. Isn’t that the way it always works. 🙄. Don’t you just live your FW?

  3. Hahaha..the first time my son was out driving, he hit a big parked truck on the other side of the road. Once, then he hit the gas again to make it two times we hit that truck.

  4. Lord how you make me laugh!!!! Never change your writing style, ok? The latest quilt is delicious – like something deep under the sea.
    I taught both of my children to drive. My hair went gray overnight!

    1. Thanks, Jody! Unfortunately, my hair is doing a slow death roll into gray. But, if I keep up the driving lessons and the accompanying butt crunches, I’ll have a tush like an 18 year old. Of course, everything else will still be sagging south. 😕

    2. Oh, my goodness, I just noticed the dog in your profile pic! It’s a boxer, isn’t it? That face makes me miss our Lulu. Give her (him?) a hug for me, okay!

  5. You’re too funny! I too am working on many flannel blankets despite the change in temp… Just means we’ll be ready by the time it changes back right?

  6. I love reading about your quilts and imperfect life. Makes me laugh every time. Keep on writing and sewing. I look forward to your posts. The purple quilt is my favorite. Love those brilliant colors.

  7. Oh boy, one of my boys was a curb hugger too. I used to hang on to the door handle tightly. He would keep saying relax mom! I kept telling myself I guess it is better than hugging the yellow line! Love the quilt. The blues are soothing.

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