I always say this weekend I will sew, which roughly translates to after tending to everything else.
This weekend, ‘everything else’ has amounted to a plethora of experiences, some of which I’d just as soon avoid.
This child, like his father before him, is a curb hugger. I cannot tell you the times I’ve shrunk toward the driver’s side in an effort to, please, sweet baby Jesus!, don’t let us hit that mailbox!! He doesn’t seem to appreciate that there’s plenty of asphalt for all to enjoy. Never mind the fact that there is no oncoming traffic. Meanwhile, my posterior is doing something my Mama nicely refers to as ‘working buttonholes in the seat’. As much clenching as my butt cheeks have done, you should be able to bounce a quarter off ’em. Not that you’d want to since we’ve never formally met, but, you know. Frankly, driving lessons should fall to the father, I mean biological here, not God, but boy have God and I had some pretty intense conversations during those drives.
In an effort to relax, I turn to Lennie the Featherweight. Sewing for me is like a wonderful night on the town with a good looking man without all those pesky expectations of what happens when you get dropped at the door. Lennie doesn’t care if I drink or swear, wear undergarments reminiscent of grannies and he certainly doesn’t expect to be invited in for a nightcap.
On that note, I finished one flimsy and have moved on to another. Clearly, quilting it isn’t high on my list of priorities, like shaving my legs in the dead of winter.
I’ve started another one that’s all flannel, because obviously, when the temperatures start to climb, you want to work with fabric that’ll make you sweat like a hooker at a Saturday night tent revival. Idiot.
And to round out my week, our newest furbaby decided it would be epically delightful to roll in something that smells of a wonderful dichotomy of sewage and death. My Lulu never did this. I can only guess that it’s a hound thing. Bad Ziva!
I’m hoping this next week leaves out the surprises and just leaves me with a tighter tush.