Give Me Locusts

My daughter, The Diva, has discovered the Hallmark Channel and with it…gawd, I feel nauseous…The Brady Bunch.


The sideburns, the bell bottoms, ‘groovy!’, Marcia.  Need I say more?  Himself declared he’d watched it (like he was proud of it) and knew for a fact I did, too.  He lies like a dead dog.  This is the same man who, as a child, went to a waterpark in a polyester suit.  Of course, his mother made him do it so there’s some leeway here for laying the blame about questionable choices in the 70s.  But I digress.

I can’t really tell if The Diva actually enjoys their antics are just likes picking apart their family dynamic and declaring every last one of them, down to poor Alice the housekeeper, as crazy.  I sense a possible vocation as a psychiatrist in her future.  It’d be just like her to medicate every last human being in sight.

His Awesomeness and I sat through two solid hours of this crap and I am now reminded why the only part of the whole shebang I actually liked was the theme song.  Mainly because I can remember all the words.  The last episode featured Greg in all his geekiness, hip-thrusting and gyrating through yet another groovy Bradython musical number.  My corneas will never be the same.  It’s like the 70s version of waterboarding.  Forget capital punishment.  Make ’em sit through endless loops of Greg and Jan.

Incidentally, the only questionable choices I will claim here for all and sundry will be my (gulp) love of Vanilla Ice, leg warmers and having the hots for Chuck Conners of The Rifleman fame.  Golly, but he was groovy.






  1. LOL…I posted pictures from my wedding on FB today. We all have made questionable fashion choices over the years. I was smack dab in the middle of a “blended family”. How I wish we were the BB. More like the Hatfields and McCoys in the same house! Fortunately, none of us carried guns. I did hit my step brother over the head with a pop bottle (remember the glass ones?) on more than one occasion.

    • You’re on FB and we’re not friends?! I still say soda tastes better from a glass bottle! A used bookstore (a favorite of mine and my Dad’s) used to sell them out of one of those old machines with the glass door front. Ice cold and yummy!

      • I agree that it is better in glass and “greener”, too. Remember trading in the pop bottles for money? I sent you my full name by email. Hopefully you can locate me easier on Face Stalker than I could you among the 50 bajillion Stephanie Bowens that came up. I am sure you will find it very exciting. Most of my friends are my crazy family.

  2. I came from a divorced family and we wished we could be like the Bradys. I watched them and the Partridge Family. Both of them were so” withit” and “cool” at the time. What can I say? I was a child of the 60’s.

  3. The Brady Bunch always seemed so exotic to us Aussies. They had a cool house and everyone seemed to get along so effortlessly. I watch it now and just cringe ! (I feel that way about the who decade of the 1980’s too – especially the clothes and hair !)

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