What I’ve Learned So Far From Crochet

I didn’t think it was possible to have a crochet WIP. Add that to the list of stuff I am wrong about.

I’ve been working on this piece for about a week and although I like the colors and design, it’s getting a tad bor—ing.  Those other 5,000 skeins I’ve bought are calling my name.  Must…go…faster!

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I’ve discovered that crochet is a greedy hobby.  Here I thought three skeins would make me a nice sized afghan.  Stop laughing.  I mean it.  Who knew that a skein of gargantuan size, all neatly packaged in its paper wrap, wouldn’t stitch up big enough to make a dish cloth.  It’s depressing.  And expensive.  How do I always choose the expensive hobbies?  Next time, I’ll choose watching car bumpers rust.  

I should really stick to making afghans.  I’ve already tried my hand at making a hat, which didn’t turn out so hot.  Remember this…

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Yeah, that started out as a hat for me.  Himself, the clever devil, said ‘Why not make two and turn it into a bikini top?‘  For who…Shamu?!  I held that baby up to my ample bosom and, channeling Chief Brody of JAWS fame, said ‘I’m gonna need a bigger cup’.  Yes, we’ve both missed our calling as comedians.

Crochet has seriously cut into my quilting obsession.  I’ll gaze occasionally at Lennie, eh, shrug, and back to crochet, that scarlet harlot.

And, saving the best for last, I’ve learned that one can drive and crochet at the same time.  That’s probably not something I should confess, but I do this in the pickup line at school.  It’s a straightaway, my foot’s constantly on the brake.  Honestly Officer, I’ve no idea how I rear-ended that car.  Sue me.  It’s my last breath of peace and serenity before The Co-Defendants hit the backseat.  Plus it beats the hell out of cussing the driver in front of me who’s texting.  Ahem…

 

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4 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned So Far From Crochet

  1. I am trying not to laugh but I have a shawl/wrap I made that used four skeins. Mama used to make ripple afghans. They were approximately twin size. I think it took 10 to 12 skeins for each. Funny about your hat being so small. My problem is getting them small enough. Apparently, I am a little looser than you! LMAO! Glad you are enjoying your hobby. It is nicely portable. It also isn’t as pleasant as it gets hot. You will go back to quilting.

    1. Yeah, I knew you diehard crocheters would get a kick out of that one. I still can’t believe it takes THAT many. I bought one today you could float from here to Cuba and you still need TWO to make a stinkin’ baby blanket!!

  2. At least you CAN crochet! Im useless…

    Doing it while you’re doing school pickup is called multi tasking and I applaud you for making such great use of your time!

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