Forget everything you’ve ever been told about housework making you ugly. It’s totally false. It does, however, make you sick as a dog. I am a walking, talking billboard for that theory. Six days, three different antibiotics. Two ear infections, a sinus infection and the flu. Been there, done that, am so totally ready to be completely cured. Screw those clean baseboards and linoleum..I’ll take a dirty house over wretched illness any day.
In the meantime…
I have to say a big blogosphere thank you to His Awesomeness, my thirteen year old son. Yep, the same kid who inspires so many snarky blog posts, hand-wringing and head shaking. See, son, I don’t just bitch and whine about you!
Monday afternoon after having my first of a few meltdowns because I felt so bad (yes, I am a sissy), he drew me a nice hot bath (his idea) and even hopped on his bike to go get me a Coke (also his idea…and his own money, I might add). The same kid who can’t even get sweaty gym socks anywhere near a clothes hamper and whose idea of ‘picking up’ his room involves moving a pile from one spot to another. Go figure. Thanks, bud!
And then there was my blessed Mama who brought food…and drugs. Mostly drugs. She knows me so well. My Dad just stood outside the front door and uttered a bleak ‘Geez!’ Love you too, Daddy!
Ever notice when you’re laid up, sick as a dog, that there’s not a damn thing on TV? Trust me on this one. Unless you’re an infomercial hag or QVC fanatic, you are absolutely screwed. I’ve been laid up since Saturday and have, I am ashamed to admit, willingly watched ‘Rambo’ and, God help me, ‘Conan the Barbarian’. Ever noticed how Sly and The Governator both look the same from the neck down. Gotta love those ‘roids! Light a candle and say a prayer for me y’all. I’ve seen ‘You’ve Got Mail’ three times…even Tom Hanks is starting to grate on my nerves. I have become addicted to ‘Dual Survival’ with Cody Lundin and Joe Teti. Maybe it’s the fever, but Joe’s kinda hot. And who the hell gets themselves stranded in the middle of a Chilean desert or a forgotten Hawaiian island? Is there really such a thing as a forgotten Hawaiian island…haven’t they all been discovered by now? The last episode they were trekking though the bush of South Africa, evading poachers and four-legged creatures hell-bent on eating them. Who does this shit? But, I’ve decided, if ever it happens to me, I want Cody or Joe (preferably Joe) with me. My chances may not be any better, but at least the scenery’s nice.