Resolutions and Assorted Fooferie

I’ve never understood the appeal of the New Year’s resolution although it hasn’t stopped me from making a gargantuan list of them in years past. Frankly, the whole idea bears a striking resemblance to a pre-nuptial agreement. Who the hell plans a divorce while they’re planning a wedding? Aren’t these things supposed to last?  Makes no sense. Therefore, this year I’ve resolved…to make no resolutions. No resolutions = no chance at failing publicly. I get enough public humiliation by forgetting myself and exiting the house whilst wearing something spandex.   

Does this make me lazy? No, it means I’m in full possession of my mental faculties and will live out my philosophy of keeping my mouth shut and simply doing my best. Well, at least the doing my best part.  God knows I can’t keep my mouth shut.  We’ll see how well THAT all turns out now won’t we.  Get back to me in twelve months.

On the quilting front, I have my first finish of 2013.

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The top squares are flannel while the backing is Aunt Grace’s 30s reproductions.  It finished at a nice kid-sized quilt.  On a side note, I love taking pictures in my front yard as it seems to freak out the neighbors, judging by their scurrying indoors when I whip out ye olde camera.  Heehee.

Although the year’s young yet, I’ve learned a few things already.  Stop gasping in shock. 

First up: Lulu the Foofoo seems to be suffering separation anxiety which explains the gastrointestinal upheavals common in my laundry room.  Lovely.  Mind you, she’s only alone for a few hours a day but apparently that’s sufficient to make her think we’re never coming back.  Leave it to us to own a dog with the same anxious tendencies as her owners.  I jokingly suggested to the vet about giving her Xanax.  She didn’t think it was funny.  Suck it, fancy.

Second: I’ve achieved the age where I’m supposed to now start denying how old I really am.  At least according to those older than myself.  Screw that crap.  I’m 39 and fabulous.  And jealousy just makes you ugly.

Third: Soda pop withdrawal enhances my innate bitchiness.  Should we meet on the street, my best advice is to cross to the opposite sidewalk.  

I’ve no idea what 2013 has in store for me and honestly I don’t want to know.  I’ll just play it by ear.

 

 

 

 

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21 thoughts on “Resolutions and Assorted Fooferie

  1. Is the definition of fooferie close to that for tomfoolery? Ahem, I think you’ve actually snuck in a few resolutions there. It’s OK. Blame it on soda withdrawal. Love the idea of sending the neighbors scurrying with quilt photo sessions. Unfortunately, my front yard is filled with snow, so it’s indoor photo ops for me (assuming I had a finished product to photograph.)

    1. Fooferie is the equivalent of ‘assorted bullshit’ but sounds nicer. As for the neighbors, I consider it justice for stealing my trashcans. But that could be the soda withdrawal talking, too 😉

  2. Are resolutions like rules—they are made to be broken 😉 I’ve learned to avoid setting any resolutions, besides, why wait until January 1 to try to make a change (seems funny coming from an avid procrastinator, but it is true!!). I love your quilt—especially that the picture is outside after the 1st of the year and you are lucky enough to have no snow. Come to Minnesota and we can give you an all white backdrop for taking your pictures, although, your camera may protest taking the pictures. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

    1. Just when I think I’d like snow, someone who actually has lots of it makes me change my mind. And my last camera didn’t make it through the hockey game we attended. I think resolutions are just a great big set up for failure. Why not just call ’em goals and be done with it?

  3. Im with you on the no new resolutions thing. Its a waste of time since it takes me all of a week to break every single one. Besides Im never going to really lose weight or eat more healthily or do any of those other things I say I will so why kid myself.

    Your vet sounds mean. I had one of our dogs medicated on person anti anxiety meds about 5 years ago . Worked a treat . Well that and the hundred dollar an hour dog psychologist did the trick. Who knew they had head shrinkers for canines!

    Instructions for avoiding you duly noted. Sugar withdrawal is nasty.

    Happy New Year !

    1. Himself found the vet presumably through his work connections. That’s also where we found our new mattress and good seats at various restaurants. The vet however has the bedside manner of a toadstool. Poor doggie, she’s followed me everywhere today and keeps flashing me those soulful brown eyes. I think she was a teenage girl in a former life. I could definitely part with my Xanax to keep her happy…everyone’s adjusted to me being bonkers anyway.

  4. Thirty nine is great. People always assume you are lying and look like asses when they find out you are not.

    I am not much on resolutions, either. I do like the idea of goals. My goal right now is to make it through the winter without killing someone.

    Maybe LuLu needs a house mate to keep her company while you are gone. Just a thought. He-he.

    Happy BIrthday and Happy New year!

    1. What is it about winter that brings out the homicidal maniac in us? I spend winter either pissed or depressed…gray isn’t my favorite color.

      Lulu once had a play date with my mother’s beagle. It didn’t go well as Chloe proceeded to bite her. I’m thinking of making a recording of our voices to play throughout the day…?

      Thanks for the birthday wishes and Happy New Year to you and yours…just don’t kill ’em!

  5. I saw someone suggest a TV—we always leave a TV or radio on in the house for our dogs when we are gone , so there are noises in the house and they don’t go crazy (like myself) with the silence! Hope you can find something to help the little dear!

    1. Why thank you, madam! Keeping it real is like having a great rack…sure, the natural ones may sag over time, but at least they aren’t plastic like Barbie’s. Have fun!!

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