Merry Christmas to Me

Oh, the joys of Christmas shopping…trolling the aisles (or the internet, if you’re smart) looking for that ‘perfect’ gift that will make each recipient nominate you for sainthood…too bad I’m not Catholic. Or at least boost you to the top of the favorite relative list. Not me, baby. Christmas shopping feels like the scene from ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ where there’s endless swiping of plastic, gift wrapping complete with bow smashing and general mayhem. Funny, but a hot guy has never shown me how his tighty-whities don’t leave lines under his trousers. Go watch the movie already!

Anyway, I spent the morning at the kids’ school while the kindergarten put on a show featuring a live Nativity and loads of singing 3 and 4 year olds. I confess, I enjoyed it. Who can resist an entire student body waving green and red glow sticks while singing ‘Silent Night’? And I did the Betty Crocker thing and made, yes made, cookies for the brunch that followed. My PTO duty is done for the year. Can I get an ‘Amen’?! Afterward, I had the urge to spend some cash on last minute stocking stuffers and so headed to the mall. That’s right, the mall. A place to be avoided at all costs as it’s typically inhabited by folks not my age strolling about with ear buds firmly in place and looking quite gangsterish. Although to be fair, I was almost mowed down a couple of times by those fitness whack jobs that circle the mall as exercise. And I love the looks I get from store clerks who ask if I’d like a frequent customer card: ‘Are you kidding? I only come here about every ten years!’ I tell you, the looks of pity and horror are not to be believed.

But, back to the joys of Christmas shopping. Himself, bless his heart, has the hardest time coming up with an appropriate gift for me this time of year. Notice the use of the word ‘appropriate’. One year I got a set of drill bits and a wet/dry shop vac. Another year it was a Tickle Me Cookie Monster. If it’s the thought that counts, I’d say he was trying to tell me to fix up, clean up and…well, I haven’t a faintest clue on that last one. Now, he has outdone himself from time to time and come up with awesome bling, a trait I’m trying mightily to instill in Captain Studly. Chicks like bling! He just rolls his eyes and goes back to his Nintendo.

This year, we decided to skip the gift giving for each other. Himself sported that ‘Seriously?! Surely you’re joking’ look and I assured him I was all for it. We buy what we want, when we want so what’s the point. Just enjoy the kids opening their stuff and go on. Ho, ho, ho.

Y’all, that fat man in a red velvet suit was smiling on me today!

Behold, my totally awesome DIY Christmas gift…


It’s really NOT that garish burnt orange of TU fame…it’s a chocolate brown.  Oh, chocolate AND bacon?!  Heaven!  No, it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Merry Wednesday, y’all!


  1. Jeff and I still buy each other presents but we tell the other what we want so there is no mistake. He never used to tell me but when I kept buying him clothes he caught on!

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